So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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