the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
