tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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