I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
