To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
