Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
