how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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