What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
