Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
