Im at strip club and am horny
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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