I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we made out on top of his cat.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
