I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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