Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
