I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
