I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
