So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
