Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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