how do flat chested girls get laid?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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