somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love having hate sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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