if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
