very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
