somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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