i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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