i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
