that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
