No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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