Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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