I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
