Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
