I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
