Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
did i just pee glitter
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
