just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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