ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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