ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
