In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
