Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
