He kissed a someone with a penis
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
