How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
