Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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