I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
