shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
