You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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