y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This girl is more easily done than said...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
