Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
