How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
