Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
