can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
