Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We don't watch enough power rangers
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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