On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
