Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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