Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
